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Yet another year comes to a close, & we feel in many ways that it has gone by so quickly. Quite frankly, 2012 was an extraordinarily tough year for our family, in large part because we heard a lot of sad news from many of you: severe downturns of health & even deaths of those close to us, as well as the heartache of broken relationships. For those still reeling from your losses, please know that we continue to mourn with you & pray that God’s comfort & deep joy would be yours in Christ.
Despite 2012’s passing by so quickly, it was still a very eventful year for us! And in spite of what seemed to be an underlying tone of grief, there were many great joys we experienced as well. Evangelina, now 20 months old, is our beautiful little parrot who’s begun to experiment putting 2 & 3 words together (eg: “I wanna sleep” or “I don’t want it”). Much her mother’s girl, she loves to dance (to any type of music), & often copies Mommy’s doings around the house: reading & “working” at her own little desk, & even mopping the floor on her knees with her own napkin. She continues to share a very special bond with big brother Jadon, with whom she has no problem asserting herself. We are grateful for how Evangelina’s antics (especially as she grows so rapidly before our eyes) give us a daily dose of laughs.
Jadon, now 6.5 years old, is also a little comedian in his own right, as you can imagine. This year he learned to devour books (we’re often at the library getting him more), & he has begun to have fun with puns & rhyming words. Last winter Jadon started playing organized basketball, & he continues to thrive at soccer. With mom teaching him, he continues to learn piano at a good pace, though when writing about it he often unknowingly spells it “paino” (which we chucklingly suspect might have something to do with his attitude toward practice sometimes). With nearly every breakfast, we take out his globe & talk about what God is doing in a specific country in the world. It is wonderful to watch him grasp things that I (Sid) didn’t understand until much later (eg: what a republic is, or how selfishness causes wars). We continue to pray that God will cultivate in Jadon a sense of service for our broken world’s many needs.
The biggest event in JJ’s life this year was taking on a full-time job after we prayerfully agreed it was good & right in spite of knowing it would not help us financially & instead would be a serious challenge to our family’s limited resources (with the hope that this “burning the candle at both ends” will be limited to a few short years). JJ is learning to juggle this new responsibility amidst caring for our two children, which she continues to do with deep, sacrificial love. She takes each of her obligations seriously, which leaves her precious little time to relax & forces her to put on hold many projects she still hopes to tackle one day. In spite of my (Sid’s) offers to take the family out or my feeble attempts at helping with housework, JJ still manages to bless us with her cooking, cleaning, & upkeeping of our household in top shape! Indeed, seeing each of us grow & thrive gives JJ great joy.
As for Sid, 2012 was another year of learning how to be a good father, husband, doctor, & church member amidst the real trials of life & in spite of very real shortcomings. At work, in addition to the usual patient care & instruction of medical students in his hometown of Highland, California, there were new responsibilities to learn (especially caring for group-home residents), a new computer system to wrestle with, as well as specialty board recertification processes to stay up-to-date with. Sid continues to find caring for his patients (minus the paperwork) very gratifying, & he & JJ continue to hope to bring our service overseas when the time is right. At home, one of Sid’s greatest challenges has been to follow the wisdom of author Tedd Tripp in raising our children with a grand vision of God that they can grow into, rather than “cutting God down” into bite-sized pieces they would soon outgrow.
Keeping life in its proper perspective has been particularly tough for us as parents in 2012 in light of all that’s on our plate. Still, something that has struck us in the last year or so serves as a continual reminder about the right priorities in life: our children have within them an incredibly deep, pressing, God-given yearning for us as their parents. Don’t get us wrong; we do NOT mean that our children are perpetually happy with us or that they like everything about us. We also do NOT mean that we’re ideal parents (we fail very often), or that our children are compliant & obedient all the time (they often are not). Further, we do NOT mean that their yearning for us looks the same at each stage of their lives. What we DO notice is that there seems to be a consistent yearning for us to praise their accomplishments, give them meaning in life, lead them in the right direction, & guard them with healthy boundaries. For instance, the pain of physical injury (from Evangelina’s minor bumps at home to Jadon’s running collisions with other kids on the soccer field) is so often subdued by simply realizing that Daddy or Mommy knows how they feel & cares deeply (which we show with a look, a kiss, or a hug). One afternoon when Jadon & Sid were outside a few months ago, Sid offered Jadon more time to ride his bicycle while Sid finished up the yardwork. Jadon actually preferred to take in the trashcan, & loudly declared, “I wanna be wherever you are.” What a humbling thing for Daddy to hear!
Even when we need to discipline Jadon & Evangelina when they defy us, we can see in their eyes the desire for us to be pleased with them, to accept them fully as they are, to love them, & to be committed to their growth. We realize that their desire for us, while God-given, often is tainted with self-interest or is faulty in its intensity compared to other good desires (eg: for learning healthy independence, or for serving God); it is precisely because these desires are corrupted that our children sometimes throw tantrums or are disobedient in some way or another (eg: for our attention). Even when their desire for us is pure, we realize also that we often disappoint them; I (Sid) can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to ask Jadon’s or Evangelina’s forgiveness when I knew my harsh words clearly disheartened them.
The funniest thing about all of this is that we realize we are JUST LIKE our kids. Yes, we’re like them in part in our desire for our own physical parents, but more deeply so in our desire for our Heavenly Father. It turns out that our desire for our physical parents (in all its brokenness) seems to be a shadow of our deeper longings for God (Matthew 6:9; John 1:12-13; Romans 8:14-15). We, along with our children, most deeply yearn for our Heavenly Father’s pleasure, acceptance, love, & commitment to our growth. The wonderful thing about this desire is that when we trust on Jesus' life & death for us, we HAVE all of these in full: our Heavenly Father IS pleased with us (Romans 5:1), He DOES totally accept us (Colossians 1:21-22), He DOES deeply loves us (1 John 4:9-11), & He IS committed to our growth (John 3:3-6).
Indeed, we are learning a lot as parents, & we’re grateful for the laboratory of life called “family” that God has blessed us with, so that we can grow & learn lessons that we would never otherwise know.
As we celebrate Jesus’ birth at Christmastime, our prayer is that each of you would join us in learning to find our desires purified & fulfilled in our Heavenly Father. No matter what lies ahead, may He guide & strengthen each of you in the new year.
Love,
Evangelina, Jadon, JJ, & Sid
PS: We would love to hear how all of you are doing. Feel free to update us at any of our contact information, though (sorry!) our replies may take awhile!
PPS: Come back again; more photos to come!
